I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
