I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
