Are we in a gay sports bar?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize