so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize