I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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