she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
