Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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