When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
