i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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