that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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