fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
