Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
