great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No I am not eating basil off your cock
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
