Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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