I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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