I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
