Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
