Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
