Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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