Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Someone came in the potted fern
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
