there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
