Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
