That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
