What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
whose parrot is this?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
