you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
