His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
