are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
