This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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