We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
