I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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