Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
