Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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