I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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