ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
