Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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