I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
