dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At least life still wants to fuck me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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