This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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