The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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