The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
