He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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