I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
