he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
