So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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