I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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