So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
