so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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