I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
