Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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