I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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