i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
