we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
