I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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