It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
