yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
