So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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