Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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