I have demons in me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
